Izinga lezehlukaniso liphezulu kakhulu eNingizimu Afrika, ngokwemibiko yamadivosi (divorce stats). Izibalo zihlanganisa nezintandokazi zosaziwayo bakuleli futhi muva nje, kungathi sebehlukanisa ngapha, nangapha.
Okuqaphelekile ukuthi iningi labo, ikakhulu abesifazane asebeke baphumela obala ngezehlukaniso zabo, libukeka njengabantu abasuke sebeyiqala kabusha impilo yabo.
Oyisibonelo esisobala nguShauwn MaMkhize, obeganele kwaMpisane ngaphambi kokudivosa nomyeni wakhe, uSbu Mpisane.
Ekhasini lakhe le-Instagram alivule emuva kwedivosi, nalapho enabalandeli abangu-2.2 million, ufaka izithombe mihla namalanga futhi kumdonsela abalandeli.
Emuva kokudivosa uMaMkhize wehlisa isisindo somzimba, washintsha indlela agqoka ngayo nokuyinto eqaphelwe ngabaningi. Ngesikhathi esashadile uMaMkhize, wawungeke umbone ekhindile futhi eveza amathanga kodwa manje usezigqoka ngokukhululeka.
Lokhu kwenza abaningi bacabange ukuthi kukhona okusuke kubanqinda amandla abesifazane uma besashadile, ikakhulu labo ababonakala sebekhululekile sebenza noma yini ngemva kokudivosa.
Umculi uJudith Sephuma, ungomunye wababonakale beshintsha ukwenza ngemuva kokudivosa. Ushintshe indlela abukeka ngayo waze washintsha nomzimba wakhe imbala.
“Into engiyifundile ngokushada wukuthi kubalulekile ukuthi uma uthatha isinqumo sokushada, uqinisekise ukuthi uphelele, injabulo ayilethwa nhlobo wumshado. Injabulo uzoyithola kuwena uqobo ngokufezekisa amaphupho akho. Ngaphambi kokushada, yenza konke okufisayo bese uqinisekisa ukuthi ushada nomuntu ozoba wumngani nawe, ningahlanganiswa wuthando kuphela,” kusho uJudith.
UMinnie Dlamini, obeganele kwaJones usanda kumemezela ukuthi sekuphelile ngomshado wakhe weminyaka emithathu noyise wengane yakhe, uQuinton Jones.
Izithombe ezifakwe nguMinnie emuva kwesimemezelo, zithuse abaningi, abanye bemncoma ngokuba “yilo Minnie wakudala”.
Ngisho imibhalo ehambisana nezithombe zakhe, ikubeka kucace ukuthi uMinnie wakudala usebuyile.
Kungabe amasiko ngokwehlukana kwawo ayabanqinda yini abesifazane ukuthi babe futhi babukeke ngendlela abathanda ukubukeka ngayo uma beshadile?
Umculi uNhlanhla Nciza, owaduma eqenjini le-Afro-pop, iMafikizolo, wamangaza iningi ngenkathi edalula ukuthi uyahlukanisa nomyeni wakhe weminyaka, uTK Nciza.
Yize uNhlanhla osengawakwaMafu manje, ubevele esendimeni yezokungcebeleka nomyeni wakhe kodwa lukhona ushintsho kuye emuva kwedivosi.
Abanye bayazivocavoca ngokuzimisela ukuze babe nempilo nemizimba enempilo.
Uhamba phambili kwabathanda ukuzivocavoca u-Unathi Nkayi, ongumethuli wezinhlelo, umsakazi futhi ungumculi. Kumanje waziwa ngokunakekela umzimba futhi uyisibonelo kwabanye besifazane abanemizimba emihle neyomele.
Ungena kulolu hlu nje u-Unathi, kungenxa yokuzilolonga ngokuzimisela emuva kokuhlukanisa noBad Boy T, naye ongumsakazi futhi babeshade iminyaka.
Kuningi okubukeka sengathi kusuke kuyizithibe kwabashadile nokugcina kubenza babe ngabantu okungathi bavalelekile noma baphila impilo okungeyona eyabo.
Ungoti wezobudlelwane uNksz Nozibusiso Nyawose, uthe lokhu akwenzeki kosaziwayo kuphela kodwa yinto eyenzekela cishe bonke abantu abadivosayo.
“Idivosi yinto edunga ingqondo ngendlela ethile ngoba uthatha isinqumo esishintsha impilo yakho kulokhu obusukujwayele. Kwabanye ushintsho luba lubi kangangoba baphathwa wukhwantalala futhi bengaziboni bephila ngaphandle kophathina babo,” kusho uNksz Nyawose.
Uthe nalabo abenza izinto abebengazenzi besashadile basuke bekwelinye igiya lomqondo, bezizwa bekhululekile ukwenza noma yini ngoba bengasaceli imvume kumuntu.
Wengeze ngokuthi abanye bashada besebancane, uma bekhula bathole ukuthi kunezinto abafisa ukuzenza nabazithandayo kodwa ngoba bashadile, bangakwazi ukuzenza. Isibonelo nje, uthi uma ushadile yize usemncane, kusuke sekunendlela okulindeleke ukuthi ugqoke ngayo. Kunezindawo okulindeleke ukuthi ungalubeki kuzo. Yingakho kubonakala osaziwayo abaningi ikakhulu abesifazane, uma sebehlukanisile beshintsha nendlela yokugqoka benakekela kabusha nemizimba yabo.
Abanye ongoti bathi lokhu kwenziwa nawukuthola ukuzethemba okusha, nentshisekelo yempilo. Kwenziwa wukuthi abantu abadivosayo basuke benesikhathi eside, abanye beneminyaka bejabhile ngenxa yezithandwa zabo ezisuke zibahlukumeza ngezindlela eziningi okungaba okomphefumulo, ngokwemali, ngokomzimba nokunye.