Ngesikhathi owesifazane ezithwele, nobaba womntwana usuke ezilungiselela ukuthi emva kwezinyanga eziwu-9 uzobe esengubaba womuntu.
Ubaba womntwana uyaqala abe nobudlelwano nomntanakhe esesesiswini sikanina, uthole ukuthi omunye njalo uma enonina womntwana uhlala ahlale amphulule isisu, kwesinye isikhathi umntwana aze akhahlele etshengisa ukuthi uyamuzwa uyise.
Lowo muntu wesilisa uba nobudlelwano obuqinile nomntwana wakhe. Uma-ke esethola, umntwana esezelwe noma esekhulile, ukuthi akusiyena owakhe, lokhu kungaba nomthelela ongemuhle empilweni nasengqondweni yalowo wesilisa, ngokusho kongoti bezengqondo.
Ungoti wezengqondo, uMnuz Sithembiso Biyela, osebenzela uMnyango wezaBasebenzi noKuqashwa, uthi umuntu wesilisa osuke ebhekene nobunzima bokukhulisa umntwana okungesiye owakhe udinga ukwesekwa.
Eqhuba uthe: “Kungabukeka kuyisilonda esingasoze saphola kowesilisa osuke esethole ukuthi umntwana akusiye owakhe kodwa leso silonda singaphola uma nje engathola usizo oluphuthumayo lokwelulekwa ngokwengqondo.”
“Uma owesilisa ebhekene nesimo esinje usuke edinga ukwesekwa wumndeni wakhe, abangani noma esontweni lapho ekhonza khona,” kusho uBiyela.
Uthe kubalulekile ukuthi owesilisa obhekene nale ngwadla angathuli kodwa athole umuntu azobhodla kuye.
“Owesilisa ohlukumezekile ngalokhu, angaya kongoti ayokwelulekwa ngokwengqondo. Ukukhuluma kuyasiza kakhulu kanjalo nokuzinikeza isikhathi sokuyetshisa into emehlele,” kubeka uBiyela.
Uthe abantu abasondelene nowesilisa obhekene nale ngwadla kumele babe nozwelo futhi bangayenzi ishwa noma inhlekisa into emvelele.
“Okunye okungalipholisa leli nxeba yindlela unina wengane aziphethe ngayo. Ngabe uyazisola yini ngesenzo sakhe atshengise ukuthi uphambukile? Lokho kungawenza umehluko,” kusho uBiyela.
Uthe uma uyise wengane kukhona angakuboni kahle, unalo ilungelo lokuthi afune ukwenza ulibofuzo ngakho akumele anqatshelwe.
“Uma owesilisa ecela ukwenza ulibofuzo, usuke engasho ukuthi uyamdelela owesifazane kodwa usuke edinga isiqiniseko. Ziningi izinto ezingaholela ekutheni owesilisa afune ukwenza ulibofuzo kanti naye angakwenza eceleni unina womntwana engazi uma efuna ukuba nesiqiniseko ngomntwana.
Akufanele ukuthi abesilisa bafune ulibofuzo ngoba befuna ukuhlambalaza abesifazane,” kuchaza uBiyela.
Uthe lokhu akuhlukumezi uyise kuphela kodwa nomntwana uyahlukumezeka ngoba usuke esenobudlelwano futhi esazi nokuthi nguyise lona.
Uthe le nto akuyona into yamanje kodwa kudala yayenzeka kanti kwakuke kuhlalwe phansi kuxoxiswane, nowesilisa athole ukwelulekwa ngabadala emndenini bamcathulise kuze kube uyaphola.
“Kwezinye izikhathi wawuthola ukuthi umama wadlwengulwa, wathula wangamtshela umyeni wakhe kuze kubonakale ngoba umntwana esekhona. Kulezo zimo indoda yayiyikhulisa leyo ngane kodwa uthole ukuthi sebeyilulekile abantu abadala futhi bayinika nesikhathi sokuthi ibhodle,” kulandisa uBiyela.
Uthe esikhathini samanje nabafana abancane bazithola sebeba ngoyise bezingane. Uma behlangabezana nalo mshophi kumele bakhulume, bangafeli ngaphakathi.
Uthe: “Kuhle ukukhuluma nothisha ongamethemba esikoleni noma ubheke umalume ekhaya noma ngabe ubani omdala ozokhuluma naye ukuze uzophola.”