MUVA nje iwundabamlonyeni indaba eyenzeka emdlalweni iMy Brothers Keeper la kubonakala khona abalingisi abashadile, ngokwalo mdlalo, uPuseletso (Rosemary Zimu) noNkanyiso Mchunu (Nkululeko), belwa nokuphela komshado wabo ngenxa yokungathembeki kukaPuseletso.
Lo mdlalo udonse amehlo abaningi njengoba uhlale uhamba phambili ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kukhulunywa ngawo ngezinto ezenzeka kuwona.
Ukuphinga kukaPuseletso nomunye wozakwabo emsebenzini kwenze uNkululeko noma ezama kanjani ukuthi umshado wabo usebenze kodwa ukucabanga umkakhe ewotwawotwa enye indoda, elala nayo emahhotela, kumenza avuke ngolaka yize ayesethe uyamxolela umkakhe.
Uze afune nokwazi ukuthi uma ehambile, ngabe uhamba yedwa yini. Okunye okuphenduke undabamlonyeni muva nje, yila ethi akakhumule ukuze amnuke inanazi ukuthi ubengalele yini neshende.
Kubantu ababuka lo mdlalo, ubulokhu umile umbuzo wokuthi kungani kunzima kanje kubantu besilisa nemindeni yabo ukuphinde bamukele kahle unkosikazi uma ephume wayophinga. Ekubeni uma kuphinge indoda, kuze kubanjwe imihlanganywana kuncengwa umakoti ukuthi akaxole ‘ vele amadoda anjalo’.
Abanye bebezibuza ukuthi kungani uma exolisa engaxolelwa indaba idlule, kunokuthi ahlale ekhunjuzwa ngesimo okungenzeka naye akaziqhenyi ngaso.
UDkt Nomcebo Mthembu, osezakhele igama ngokukhuluma ngezithinta ubudlelwano bezothando nocansi emsakazweni Ukhozi FM, uthe kwesinye isikhathi lokhu kudalwa izindaba ezithinta amehlo emphakathini namadlozi.
“Abantu besilisa uma esemlobolile owesifazane amthandayo, umbuka njengento yakhe okungamele ithintwe abanye. Kanjalo nasemphakathini owesifazane ubonakala njengomuntu ozokwakha igama lomuzi aganele kuwo, uma esephinga konke lokho kuyafadalala njengoba isithunzi sowesilisa ophingelwe siyehla. Okumele kwazeke ukuthi ukuphinga kuyenzeka futhi okwabesilisa kubukeka sengathi kungcono kodwa uma sekwenziwa owesifazane kubukeka kuyihlazo elibi, nakwabanye besifazane bengazazi nezizathu eziholele lapho,” kusho uDkt Mthembu.
Uthe kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi amadoda azi ukuthi noma eselobolile kodwa umuntu wesifazane usuke esadinga ukuthandwa nokunakwa. Ukuthola kwakhe ukunakwa ngaphandle nothando okuyinto angasayazi endlini, kwenza inqwaba yabesifazane abalotsholiwe nabashadile bewele esilingweni samashende.
“Injabulo kumele abantu besilisa bazi ukuthi ihamba phambili kubantu besifazane. Ukuba khona kwezingane nekhaya elifudumele akumele kubonakale sengathi konke sekuphelele kubantu besilisa. Esinye isizathu esiyaye sithatheke kancane, esesilonda esisala kowesifazane indoda yakhe eke yaphinga. Kuyamenza naye ngelinye ilanga aphinge eqhutshwa yinto yokuthi ‘ naye wangizwisa ubuhlungu’. Usuke naye esefuna ukuziphindiselela,” kuchaza yena.
Uthe emqondweni yabantu besilisa uma bephingelwe, bona behlelwa wukuzethemba, bazibone bengewona amadoda aphelele.
“Ucansi yinto enkulu kubantu besilisa. Uma esethola ukuthi unkosikazi uphingile, uvele azibone ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi yena akasenzi kahle, kanti cha kwabesifazane uma bephingile kusuke kungayona into ebakhiphile. Konke lokhu kuvele kuholele ekutheni kube nokuhlukumezana. Amanye amakhasimende ami ake afike, ayasho ukuthi agcina engazethembi ocansini bese bengayithembi induku yabo basheshe bachithe ngisho ocansini,” kubeka yena.
Uthe ukusolana nokungazethembi kumele kube yinto bobabili abashadile abazama ukuyilungisa kungabhekwa oyedwa kuphela.
Uveze ukuthi abashadile kufanele bakufunde ukuthi babambisane ekulungiseni izinkinga bobabili uma sekukhona ophingile.
“Uyabona le nto yokubeka lonke icala kumuntu owenze amaphutha akulungile. Kodwa bobabili abashadile kufanele babambane babheke ukuthi omunye nomunye ube namuphi umthelela esehlakalweni esibavelele ukuze bazilungise bobabili,” kuchaza yena. Ugcizelele ngokuthi elinye iphutha elenziwa amadoda, ukuqinisekisa ukuthi owesifazane uyaxola, bathathe kancane ngoba nakhu bethi vele bangamadoda kanti sekuyonakala.
Uthe amasu angawanika abantu abadlule kulesi simo ilawa:
1. Ukuhlala phansi nixoxe ngesizathu esiholele kulesi simo.
2. Ukulalelana nokwenza izithembiso sokushintsha isimo akade nibheke naso. Niqinisekise enithembisene kona kuyenzeka ngempela.
3. Ukukhuluma isimo sentukuthelo sesehlile.
4. Ukungathukani nokubizana ngamagama ngesimo enibhekene naso.
5. Ukumkhumbuza uphathina wakho ukuthi usamthanda/ ube nozwelo uma umbona ephatheke kabi.
6. Ukudedela olimele emoyeni ukuthi akhulume konke okumphethe kabi ukuze abhodle. Kungabo owonile oba nenhliziyo encane. Ukuphinga yinto enzima.
7. Ukwenza ucansi lokuxolisa kukhona konke esenidlule kukho. Kungabi kodwa olukumboza izilonda zisabhibha.