ZANELE MTHETHWA
A BESIFAZANE akumele bakhohliswe wukufakwa iringi bathenjiswa umshado, okubalulekile ukulotsholwa.
Lokhu kushiwo ngumeluleki wezothando nombhali wezincwadi, uMnuz Lunga Ntuli, odume ngencwadi ethi ‘Why Men Cheat and Why Women Do It Better.’
Yize sekuyisitayela ukuthembisana umshado phambi kwezihlwele, uNtuli ukhuthaza ukuthi zibuyele emasisweni kuqalwe ngokuyovelwa ekhaya.
Kujwayelekile ukuthi kuthi kungazelele muntu, insizwa ihlabe phansi ngedolo, icele umshado entombini ngeringi kanokusho, okubeka isithombe sokuthi sekuseduze emshadweni.
Nokho kubuye kuvele ukuthi abanye bathembisana umshado nje kungakavelwa ngisho ekhaya, abanye bagcine behlukene kungenzekanga lutho.
UNtuli uthi kwakuvele kungelona isiko labamnyama ukumangazana ngokucelana umshado ngeringi ngoba okubalulekile yilobolo.
Uthe abathandanayo kumele bazane kahle baqinisekise ukuthi bazimisele ukushada ngaphambi kokuthembisana.
“Asikho isikhathi esibekiwe nesilungele ukuthembisana umshado kodwa okungenani abantu abaqale ngokwazana kahle. Ngokwesintu awusheshi ukuveza othandana naye ekhaya ngoba kuyaziwa ukuthi uthando luyalinda. Kumele indoda izilungiselele ngokwanele, ibe nemali yokulobola nokushada.
“Esikhathini samanje umuntu ugijimela ukuthenga iringi ebizayo ethembisa umshado kanti akanayo nemali yokucela, usisi agcine eshade neringi,” usho kanje.
Uthe yize kungowesilisa ocela umshado, esikhathini esiningi ngowesifazane osuke ecabe indlela.
Uveza ukuthi abesifazane banendlela abenza ngayo ukukhombisa ukuthi sebekulungele ukushada. Uveza nokuthi abesilisa bathenga amaringi okucela umshado ngenxa yengcindezi yabanye abakwenzayo nosisi abakufunayo.
“Ngiyakuncamela ukuthi ubhuti angabi nayo imali yeringi yesethembiso uma ezokwazi ukulobola. Iringi ayisho ukuthi uzoshada ngempela kodwa ukuzibophezela ngokuyolobola okubalulekile. Akusizi ukwenzela abantu, uthenge iringi ebizayo ngoba ufuna ukubukwa kanti akukavelwa ngisho ekhaya. Lokhu kwehlisa isithunzi kwabesifazane ngoba abanye bagcina befakwe iringi, ungabi khona umshado,” kusho uNtuli.
Njengoba sekukhona nezinkundla zokuxhumana abanye bakumemezela nakuzona uma sebecelwe umshado. UPearl Modiadie ongumsakazi weMetro FM ungomunye wabakhombise ukujabula ngokucelwa umshado yisoka lakhe uNkululeko beseholidini eZambia. Kubuye kwavela ukuthi useyalotsholwa.
Wenze okungajwayelekile uMnuz Sanele Mhlungu ngo-Ephreli ecela umshado ezihlweleni kuNksz Nosipho Nguse obethweswa iziqu zezemfundo e-University of KwaZulu-Natal.
UNksz Nguse uthe yize athuka kodwa akubanga kubi nakubazali ababekhona ngoba uMhlungu ubesevelile ekhaya. UMhlungu othe unamahloni, uveze ukuthi kwamthatha isikhathi ukwenza isinqumo sokucela umshado ezihlweleni kodwa wabona kuzoba yisikhumbuzo saphakade.
Abanye abakumemezele emphakathini ukuthembisana umshado, kubalwa uLebo M noZoe Mthiyane asebehlukene.