Into elimaza abantu besilisa banamhlanhje abagcina beganwa bathole izingane ezigcina nazo ziba nezinkinga ezikoleni nasemindenini yabo yile nto engingazi ukuthi iqhamukaphi, yokuthi umuntu athi azi ukuthi uzalelwe ngaphandle komshado kodwa agijime athi ufuna ukubiza isibongo sikayise.
Lokhu ngiqale ukukuqabuka emva kuka 1994, lapho sasithi sithola inkululeko. Namhlanje uzwa umuntu wesilisa ethi kufanele ngithole isibongo sikababa kumbe ngibize sona ngoba sengizoganelwa. Ngikhule emakhaya emandulo ingane ezalelwe ekhaya intombazane, ikhula kube ingane kagogo futhi nayo yazi kahle kamhlophe ukuthi zonke izinto zayo ziyogcina zenziwa ngomalume bayo. Uma isiganwa iyobikela omalume, uma kuyingane yentombzane isigana kuyolotsholwa komalume bayo. Nakuba kwakungandile ukuthi unina agcine eganela kwenye indawo njengalokhu sekwenzeka namhlanje. Lokhu kudideka akugcini nje kuphela kumlanjwana kodwa kuhamba kuze kuyofika enganeni eyilongwe kumbe idaka. Ilongwe kumbe idaka ingane athe unina eganile wathelwa ngenyongo, wase ethola umntwana ngaphandle, okuthi uma kuyingane yomfana uyizwe isithi kufanele ngihambe ngiyofuna isibingo sikababa wami khona ngizobiza sona ngoba sengizothatha umalokazana nami. Lokhu into elichilo elikhulu okungukulahleka kwesintu nokweduka okukhulu.
Abantu abaningi abazenzeli lokhu kuyaye kuthi noma umuntu enze kahle wabiza isibongo sikanina kodwa uma nje eke wethuka waba nezinkinga usezogjjima manje eseyozwa ezangomeni, kulapho afike alahlwe khona kakhulu ngokuthi kuthiwe akahambe ayofuna isibongo sikayise. Uyaye uzwe umuntu ethi nganginezinkinga futhi sengifuna ukuthi ngithathe umfazi kodwa ngathi uma ngiphuma ngiyobheka kwafike kwathiwa angithathe isibongo sikababa, kumbe ngiyokwenzelwa imbeleko kubo kababa.
Konke lokhu kudalwa nayithina belaphi nezangoma ngokungaqondi isintu nesiko. Ngiyaye ngithi kukho konke okuhlupha umuntu omnyama kuncane kabi okudinga umuthi kodwa okuningi kudinga isintu nesiko okwalalahleka, okufanele siqondise ngakho abantu bakithi.
Umuntu wesilisa umuzwa ethi uma ngibiza isibongo sikamama kusho ukuthi nezingane zami nazo zizolandela lapho zibize sona. Omunye athi umama wami naye wayebiza isibongo sakubo kanina manje nami futhi kanjalo.Omunye uthi uyise engamazi naye uyise engazange wamnaka azihluphe ngokuyomfuna kube nguyena umfana ozwa ethi ngahamba ngayofuna ubaba ngaze ngamthola ngase ngizibiza ngesibongo sakhe.
Ngiyakubona konke okunye kodwa lokhu ubulima obuphindiwe ukuthi uzothi umuntu engazange wakudinga kuyona yonke impilo yakhe wena usuyagijima usuyomfuna, ungacabangi ukuthi sonke lesi sikhathi uze ukhule ube ngaka kungani engazange wazihlupha ngawe.
Abantu-ke abavamisa ukuduka kanjena abantu abayimilanjwana, lapho uyise engazange wakhipha lutho, kube ilabo oyise abahlawula okuthi ngoba nakhu umuntu wahlawula sekuthiwa ingane ayibize uyise. Okwesibili kube ilapho umama waphumela ngaphandle kumbe washona umyeni wase esethola ingane, lleyo ngane esiyophuma ithi iyofuna uyise. Esimeni esifana nalesi kufanele siqondisane ukuthi uma umama athelwa ngenyongo wakhishwa kubo akuseyena wakubo, ngakho ngeke ukwazi ukubiza isibongo sakhe, ngoba wabe esekhishiwe kubo, kanjalo futhi ngeke ubize isibongo sikayihlo ngoba uyihlo walala nomfazi womuntu, unyoko ufana nomuntu owaphinga. Kulo munzi ulivezandlebe, elihlonishiswa ngokuthiwa yilongwe.
Abanye bayaye bathi ubaba wahamba waya kubo kamama wayongihlawulela wangikhokhela, ngase ngithatha isibongo sakhe, okuyinhlamba kuwena baba owenze lokho nawe mfana owenzelwa lokho. Lokhu akwehlukile nokugqokisa inhlamba namanyala enziwe ngumzali wakho, nawe uzenabukelise ube iqiniso ulazi. Isandla sikamelaphi nogobela kukho konke lokhu sikhona ngoba nathi ngokungasazi isintu siyabalahla abantu sithi abenze okungekona kunokuthi sibuze ethongweni nabazi isintu.
Okufanele sikwazi namhlanje ukuthi u 80% wabantu abathwasayo, iningi isintu abasiqondi futhi asaziwa, khona lapho iningi labathwasayo lazalelwa emadolobheni, emalokishini kumbe ezindaweni eziyizikompulazi, lapho kungagcinwa lutho oluyisintu. Lowo muntu uthi noma ethwasiswa uthole ukuthi kwayena ugobela omthwasisayo akazi lutho ngesintu. Okutholakalayo ekuthwaseni namhlanje ukugijimisa ukwelapha kunokuthi amathwasa anothiswe ngokufundiswa isintu ngoba isona esizohamba phambili lapho sebelapha abantu abalahlekile nabahluphekile.
Lokhu kweduka nokuzedusa, nokweduswa, ikhona okwenza kube khona zonke lezi zigameko ezenzeka emphakathini namhlanje. Namhlanje abantu sebephelelwe ngunembeza, bayazondana, babodwa ababulalanayo, babodwa abandlwengulayo, imindeni inomsindo ukuthula akukho, athi umuntu eqeda ukushada khona lapho usuyezwa useyahlukanisa. Izingane ezihluphekayo ezikoleni okungafundeki, ezidakwa utshwala, aziganwa nezingagani, konke lokhu uma ukubheka kuvela esikhathini sanamhlanje izwe kade lihamba kahle bese ubona ukuthi yilokhu kweduka osekungene shi ebantwini. Namhlanje sekulihlazo ukubiza isibongo sikamama wakho, abanye bayazinyeza bagcine sebekufihla lokho, ngenxa yomphakathi nesizwe esesidukiswe kakhulu. Izinkulumo ezivela emisakazweni nakothelevishini azigqugquzeli lokhu kodwa kunalokho abelaphi abakhuluma kulezi zinkundla bazincoma bona baqhakambise abakwelaphayo engabe siqondisa iszwe ukuze kunciphe abantu abeza ezigodlweni zethu nezinkinga ezingekho. Namhlanje umuntu uke asuke eGoli azongena eThekwni eyobheka izinkinga zakhe kumelaphi, uma efika umelaphi emtshela ukuthi ngeke amsize akahambe ayolungisa isibongo athukuthele agane unwabu.
Kukhona laba othi uma ubatshela ukuthi akahambe ayobiza isibongo sikamama wakhe kumbe salapho umama ayeganele khona ngoba elilongwe, ubone eshintsha ebusweni, ubone ukuthi le nto omtshela yona akahambisanbi nayo. Kungakho-ke namhlanje sinamaphara angaka, nemidlwembe yezingane zabafana namantombazane. Namhlanje sikhuluma ngokubulalana ngokobulili, imishado ebhidlikayo, ukuhlukumezana emindenini, nasemphakathini, ngeke kuze kuphele konke lokhu uma sisalokhu sincelisa amawele amanga sithi asikhuleke, nezintshumayelo zikahulumeni ezingekho, sibalekela iqiniso lokuzaleka komuntu engabe siqinisa izizinda zokufundisa abantu ngesintu nesiko lokuzaleka. Uma kungashunyayezwa isintu nesiko kithina bantu abamnyama umsebenzi wezangoma, abathandazi, nababhulayo, indawo yawo ingaphela kakhulu, benze lokhu abakuthwasele kunokuthi bangakhuthazi isizwe ngokweqiniso.
Bhedlindaba “VVO” Ka Lu Phuzi Mkhize (PhD)
Isigodlo saseMlambomunye: School of Umsamo Wisdom.
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