UMA umuntu efake indandatho emunweni wesibili esandleni sangakwesobunxele, usuke sewazi ukuthi lolo wuphawu lokuthi ushadile. Kungenjalo uma kungowesifazane, yingoba usethenjiswe umshado.
Ngokwenqubo yaseNtshonalanga noma eyenkolo yobuKrestu, kuvamisile ukuthi ngosuku lomshado, umfundisi owenzisa izifungo abusise izindandatho, eyowesifazane neyowesilisa. Okusho ukuthi akekho oshadile ngaleyo nqubo, osuke engenayo indandatho.
Ngokusho kwezai kwezobudlelwano bothando, empeleni indandatho iwuphawu lokuzibophezela kulowo oshade naye nasebudlelwaneni benu. Ukufaka indandatho kuphinde kube wuphawu nesikhumbuzo sansuku zonke sokuthi kukhona osumkhethile kwabaningi, omthandayo nozimisele ukuphila naye impilo yakho yonke.
Yize kunjalo, kulezi zinsuku kujwayelekile ukuthi uthi umuntu oshadile, abonakale engayifakile indandatho emnweni.
UMbhishobhi Vusi Dube, webandla i-EThekwini Community Church (ECC), eliseThekwini, uthi indandatho iwuphawu lokukholwa nokukholelwa kulowo osuke ushade naye.
“Abantu uma beshada befakana izindandatho, basuke behlanganiswa ukuthi babe nyamanye bangabe besabheka eceleni kepha babheke ngqo, kulowo abasuke sebehlanganiswe naye. Sizokhumbula encwadini kaLuka, ukuthi indodana yolahleko yathi isibuya ekhaya yambeswa amandla. Kanjalo nendandatho imbathisa amandla kulowo osuke ushade naye,” kusho uMbhishobhi uDube.
UDube uveze ukuthi kunomehluko phakathi komuntu ofake indandatho nomuntu ongayifakile.
“Uma ufake indandatho ngabe ungowesilisa noma ungowesifazane, kuba nomngcele ebantwini ohlangana nabo. Uma ungayifakile indandatho uphumela ebantwini, lokho kufana nokuthi ubatshela ukuthi banelungelo lokukukhulumisa ngoba awuthathwe ndawo. Kepha uma uyifakile bayabona ukuthi akusondelwa kuwena ngoba bazobe sebephula umthetho ngokungena esibayeni sakomunye umuzi,” kuchaza uDube.
Usomabhizinisi oganwe yisithembu samakhosikazi amane, uMusa Mseleku, oyingxenye yohlelo lwethelevishini Uthando Nesthembu, futhi noluthi Umnakwethu, uthi kumele kuqale kubhekwe ukuthi isukaphi indaba yokufaka indandatho. Abantu banezindlela zabo ezihlukile zokwenza izinto kanti bathanda izinto ezingafani.
“Ukufaka indandatho kuhambisana nokushada umshado omhlophe wesilungu. Uma ushade umshado omhlophe, kuyakuphoqa ukuthi ufake indandatho kodwa uma ushade ngokwesintu, akuphoqi ukuthi uyifake ngoba endulo yayingekho indandatho,” kuchaza uMseleku.
Uqhuba athi ngokwesintu indandatho ayinayo incazelo ngakho-ke awukwazi ukuthi uma ushade ngesintu bese ufuna ukufaka indandatho, kumele ibe yimpoqo kwabashade ngokwesilungu.
“Angihlabi ukwenza kwabanye abantu kodwa angisiboni isidingo sokuphatheka kabi uma oshade naye engayifaki indandatho ngoba usuke uhlala naye endlini futhi ungakhuluma naye usizwe isizathu sokungayifaki. Kona ukuyifaka kuhle ngoba kuwuphawu lokuzibophezela koshade naye,” usho kanje.
Uthi ukufaka indandatho akuyilawuli indlela oziphethe ngayo noma izinga lokuthembeka kumuntu osuke ushade naye, indaba ilele kwisimilo sakho. Ngokwakhe, uma ungumuntu wesifazane noma wesilisa ushadile kodwa indandatho ungayifaki, uvumelekile ukubatshela abantu abazama ukusondela eduze kwakho ukuthi kukhona lapho, osuthathe khona noma osuthathwe khona. Ukuthembeka kulele kuwe, indandatho isuke isigcizelela okushoyo.
UHhashi Elimhlophe, ongumculi kamaskandi oseshade iminyaka engaphezulu kuka-40 no-Ebony Ngcobo, uthi ukufaka indandatho nokungayifaki kuyisivumelwano sabantu ababili, abasuke beshadile.
"Kulele kubona abashadile ukuthi bayayifaka noma abayifaki yini. Abantu benza izinto ngendlela yabo abayithandayo. Ngeke ngisho ukuthi kuhle noma kubi yini ukungayifaki," kusho uNgcobo
Kuyenzeka abanye bashade bangabe besayifaka indandatho noma bavuselele izifungo zomshado bese beyayishintsha bafake enye, umculi uthi yena nowakwakhe basafaka lezo zindandatho abazifakana ngosuku lomshado.
"Thina izindandatho zethu sisazifaka futhi yizona esashada ngazo, asikaze sizishintshe. Phela umfundisi uma nishada empeleni, usuke ebusisa umshado hhayi izindandatho," usho kanje uHhashi Elimhlophe.
UNgcobo uthi kuvamisile ukuthi abantu uma bevuselela izifungo zabo zomshado abanye bayazishintsha izindandatho, abanye abazishintshi.
"Uma nizishintshile uma senivuselela, umfundisi uyaye azibusise kodwa uma kwenzeka ilahleka uyayithenga bese ubuya uyayifaka ngoba umshado usuke ubusisiwe vele," kuchaza yena.
Ephawula ngazobe bekwenza nowakwakhe ngosuku lwezithandani uthe, kubona kuhlezi kuwusuku lwezithandani akukho okuhlukile okuza neValentine.