UKUFIKA kwengane kwabathandanayo, yinto enkulu eza nenkulu injabulo. Kuyahlelelwa, nomama azihluphe ngolwazi lokuthi inakekelwa kanjani ingane inceliswa kanjani, ishintshwa kanjani inabukeni nokunye okuningi.
Kodwa okungalungiselelwa, wukuthi uma isingowesithathu nikade nithandana nibabili, yini okumele nizilungiselele ngayo.
Ongoti bezobudlelwano bathi ukufika kwengane kuyenzeka kulone kuluqede uthando yize nisuke nijabulele ukwanda komndeni.
Uma benizitika ngocansi njalo kusihlwa, nizikhiphe njalo ngezimpelasonto, lokhu ngeke kusenzeka.
UDkt Carol Ummel Lindquist, owumbhali wencwadi iHappily Married with Kids, uthi okokuqala kumele abesilisa baqonde ukuthi imizimba yabesifazane isuke inolukhulu ushintsho ngemuva kokuthola ingane.
“Baba nolaka nokuzenyeza okukhulu. Basuke bedinga ukwesekwa ngokwedlulele,” kusho lo ngoti.
Lolo shintsho uthi kumele lulungiselelwe ukuze kuvikelwe uthando.
Uthi ziningi izinto ezingonakala ngezinyanga eziyisithupha nje kufike ingane kwabathandanayo.
“Owesifazane angazizwa engathandwa, owesilisa angazizwa engasanakwa sekunakwe ingane. Akhumbule ucansi angalutholi. Afise ukuqatshulwa angakutholi.”
Ongoti bathi kulabo abasuke bengakaze babe nayo ingane, ziba ziningi izinselelo eziphazamisa uthando.
Nokho ongoti bathi kukhona eningakwenza niyizithandani ukuqinisekisa ukuthi injabulo yokuba nengane ayiphenduki isiqalekiso othandweni lwenu. Niqhubeke nithandane futhi nesekane.
* Yibani nesikhathi senu nobabili
Ukufika kwengane akumele kusho ukuphela kothando nokuthandana kwenu. Celani usizo emndenini wenu ukuze ngelinye ilanga nishiye ingane nizipholele nobabili njengezithandani. Noma ningakhiphani, ningaba ndawonye kwenye indlu, nengane ibe kwenye kodwa kube yisikhathi senu ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa yingane.
* Hlelani iholidi:
Ukuthatha iholidi kuzobe kungasho ukuthi nikhohliwe yingane yenu noma aniyithandi, kodwa niyokhokha umoya futhi nikhombisa ukuyithanda ingane. Kuzonisiza ukuthi nibuye nijabule futhi nibonisane ngezindlela ezizohambisana nani nobabili ukukhulisa ingane yenu.
* Thola indlela entsha yokubeka imibono:
Uma kukhona uphathina wakho angasakwenzi kahle noma ngendlela ebenihlele ngayo, mhlalele phansi umbonise. Uma kukhona umbono omusha ngezinguquko okumele zenzeke othandweni njengoba kunengane beka kahle.
* Kwabesilisa: Kubalulekile ukubekezelela isithandwa saklho ngalesi sikhathi sisanda kuteta. Abesifazane bayaba nenkinga ebizwa ngePostnatal Depression, edalwa wushintsho lwamahomoni okwenziwa wukuthola ingane.
Kumele umtholele usizo uma ubona ushontsho olufana nokuhlale ekhala, enolaka nokunye.
* Alungapheli usuku ningasenzanga isikhathi senu:
Noma ngabe nimatasa kanganani kodwa alungapheli usuku ningazange nibe nesikhathi senu nokukhuluma ngezinto eziphathelene nothando lwenu.
* Lekelelanani niphumuzane:
Uma kukhona owazi kangcono ngokukhuliswa kwengane, akacobelele omunye ngolwazi. Kubalulekile ukulekelelana kunanoma ngabe yini eniyenzayo nephathelene nengane.
Uma ingane ingalali ebusuku, ukuze niqonde ukuthi kunjani ukungalali uthulisa ingane ebusuku, shintshanani ukuze kungabi khona ongezoqonda uma omunye ethi ukhathele noma uyezela.
* Olunye ulwazi lucashunwe ku-www.psychologytoday.com naku www.parents.com