NOMA ungaba umuntu wesifazane ozithandayo izindawo zobumnandi kodwa yiba nemali yakho yokuzijabulisa, ungathembeli kubantu besilisa ukuthi bakuthengele izidlo.
Lesi yisexwayiso esivezwa wongoti kwezokwelukelwa ngokomqondo kanjalo nabezinhlaka zamadoda nalezo ezilwela amalungelo abesifazane.
Bakhulume kanje kulandela ukwanda kwezigameko zokubulawa kwabesifazane ngabesilisa abasuke bechitha nabo isikhathi ezindaweni zobumnandi.
Esigamekweni sakamuva esenzeke ngesihluku, abesilisa ababili, uMnuz Lungani Mthethwa (38) noMnuz Sandile Chili (44), okumanje bagqigqa enkantolo, basolwa ngokudubula babulale uNksz Anele Mbokazi (29) nomngani wakhe uNksz Zizipho Gabisa (30).
Izidumbu zabafi baseVerulam, eThekwini, zatholwa wumphakathi komunye wemigwaqo eKenville, eThekwini.
Abafi, omunye owayengumhlengikazi esibhedlela Inkosi Albert Luthuli, omunye engusokhemisi esibhedlela esizimele eMhlanga, babehambe nabasolwa kukuhle.
Sebebulewe kwavela izinsolo ezahlukene, kuzona kwakukhona nezokuthi abasolwa badinwa ukuthi abafi babengasayizwa eyokuya ocansini nabo yize base bechithe inqwaba yemali bebathengela izidlo.
Kwabaningi lokhu kwadweba isithombe sokuthi ngisho umuntu wesifazane angaba nemali eyenele ukuthi azijabulise kodwa uhlale ukhona umuzwa wokufuna ukutotoswa ngemali umuntu wesilisa.
Manje ongoti bayawukhuza lo moya, njengoba izikhathi sezishintshile. Abantu besilisa sebekuthatha njengento ewubala ukubulala abesifazane.
Ungoti wezokwelulekwa ngokomqondo, uDkt Manqoba Myeni uthe kudala kwakungewona umsebenzi onzima ukuxwayisa abesifazane ukuthi bamxwaye umuntu wesilisa abangamazi.
“Kodwa manje izikhathi zishintshile, sekwaba khona ngisho nezimoto ezikhokhelwa ngebanga ezilihambile, umuntu ayibiza ukuthi imthathe imyise endaweni ethile, abe nesibindi sokwethemba ukuthi owesilisa ongumshayeli uzokwenza lokho owesifazane akulindele. Kuba lula nokwethemba ukuthi lona wesilisa uyiyo ngempela lento athi uyiyona,” kusho uMyeni.
“Ngokomthetho, akufanele engabe bathemba abantu abangabazi ngale ndlela njengoba kuhlale kukhulunywa ngezigameko ezinyantisa igazi zokuhlaselwa kwabo nsuku zonke,” kusho uMyeni.
Uthe into engalekelela ukuthi kuncishiswe isihlava wukuthi abesifazane abathanda ubumnandi bazihlinzeke ngemali yabo abazoyisebenzisa ebumnandini.
“Ababe nemali yabo abazoyidla, ababe nemoto yabo abazohamba ngayo, bahambe babe yiqoqo. Ngesikhathi uvumela owesilisa ukuthi akuthengele izidlo, yilapho osuke usuzibeka khona engcupheni yokungena kunoxhaka wamadoda ayingozi, asebenzisa imali ukudoba abesifazane ukuze kuyiwe ocansini,” kusho uMyeni.
Ufanise indaba yabesilisa abanunusela abesifazane ngemali ukuze baye nabo ocansini njengento engafanele kodwa egcwele emiqondweni yabesilisa abaningi.
“Ezindaweni zobumnandi lugcwele lolu hlobo lwabesilisa,” kusho uMyeni.
Ubuye wathi enye into eyophephisa abesifazane ukuthi bamsabe umuntu abangamazi, babuswe umcabango wokuthi umuntu ongamazi uyingozi futhi angabenzakalisa.
UNksz Nombuso Sibisi wenhlangano yabesifazane, iWomen of uMthwalume, uthe inkinga enkulu izwe elibhekene nayo, abantu besilisa abazibona benamandla ngaphezu kwabesifazane, okwenza bazizwe bedeleleka uma owesifazane engavumelani nento asuke eyisho.
Uthe babuye badinwe nawukuthi abesifazane bayawaqhakambisa amalungelo abo, bese abesilisa bezama ukukhombisa ubudoda babo ngendlela engafanele.
“Amadoda awawukhiphe emqondweni lo mcabango wokuthi sekufanele ahambe naye noma alale naye uma kade emthengele utshwala. Uma wenzela umuntu wesifazane into, musa ukulindela ukuthi akukhokhele ngocansi. Uma ungowesilisa onalowo mqondo, kuhle uvele uye ngqo kulabo abaludayisayo,” kusho uNksz Sibisi, othe kuyadingeka abeluleka abantu ngokomqondo ukuthi bangenelele ukuqeda le ndlela yokucabanga emadodeni.
Uthe okulukhuni wukuthi akulula ukubona ngeso umuntu wesilisa onezinhloso ezimbi.
“Into elula wukuthi umuntu wesifazane azihlinzeke, angabheki ukwenzelwa owesilisa, ukuze ezizophephisa,” kusho uNksz Sibisi.
Uthe bona bafisa ukuthi sibuye isigwebo sentambo kwabesilisa abenzakalisa abesifazane ngalolu hlobo.
UMbhishobhi Bhekimpi Mchunu onguSihlalo wenhlangano iSukuma Sakhe Ndoda, uthe yize bekukhuthaza ukuboshwa kwabasolwa ezigamekweni zalolu hlobo kodwa akakholwa ukuthi kukodwa kungenza umehluko.
“Sihlale siphakamisa ukuthi izinhlangano ezifana neyethu, zinikwe ithuba lokuthi zihlale nabo phansi uma sebegwetshiwe, sibanike ithuba, bachaze olwabo uhlangothi lwesigameko, ukuze ukwazi ukulwisana nomnyombo walobu bulwane abasuke bebenzile kwabesifazane,” kusho uMchunu.
Uthe okubanqinda amandla yimithetho ebekiwe, eyenza kube nzima ukuthi babe nalezi zingxoxo nabasuke belahlwe yila macala.
Uphinde wakhala ngokuthi kufanele kusungulwe izinhlelo zokubhekana ngqo nolaka olugcwele kwabesilisa. Uthe umuntu wesilisa uvele enganywe wulaka ngento encane, umqondo ubuye esembulele owesifazane.