KUNEZINGANE ezinezinkinga ngendlela abazali bazo abazikhulelwe ngayo, kokunye umzali athi esekhulelwe kube khona lokhu kulingeka okwenzeka kuyena. Kulula ukuthi omunye umzali angazi ukuthi ngubani onguyise wengane ngokuthi ubelalwa abantu ababili ngesikhathi esisodwa.
Uyokuthi noma esethi uzama ukuhlanganisa kuhlanganiseke kokunye kungahlanganiseki aphaphalaze.
KwaZulu kukhona le nto okuthiwa ukujiyisa ihlule, lapha kusuke kuqondwe ukuthi umuntu wesifazane ukhuleliswe ngomunye umuntu bese ethi esadidekile uselalwa ngomunye umuntu, lapho lona osemlala esekhulelwe izinyanga zakhe zisephansi kungakabonakali, usefana nomuntu osezojiyisa ihlule elizokuba ingane eselihlezi kakadeni.
Okwesibili umuntu wesifazane akhuleliswe umuntu ngqo amaziyo ukuthi nguyena kodwa ngokuthi uneshende alokhu ebonana nalo, leyo ngane isilekwa isithunzi seshende elingeyise wengane.
Izingane eziningi namhlanje zishaywa ilezi zinkinga ezimbili. Ukukhulelwa kukamama angaqondi ukuthi ngubani uyise wengane ngempela. Ukukhuleliswa ngumuntu othandana naye ngqo kumbe ngumkhwenyana wakho, kodwa kube kukhona ishende elizolokhu likulala ingane isihlezi esiswini, lona ozolokhu ekulala ingane ayeleke ngesithunzi sakhe.
Akuyona into entsha lena yayikhona nasemandulo, kangangoba kungakho ingane yayithi uma isizelwe izalukazi ziyivule izandlana isencane ziyibheke ukuthi ngabe eyala ekhaya yini ngoba zilwazi uphawu lwekhaya. Uma zibona kukhona lokhu okonakele kwakufunwa indlela yokuthi konje le nto izokweqiwa kanjani.
Kulapho-ke ingane isikhula ilokhu ikhala, basheshe bathi “makoti phuma naye umntwana uyomthulisela emnyango” ngoba bazi ukuthi uzokufike emnyango umhashe ngesibongo salona wena wesifazane omazi ngqo onguyise wengane ingane iyothula du ingakhali.
Elinye ilisu ababelisebenzisa kwakuba ukusho umuntu kwawena ongamazi kubatshazwe kuthiwe waze wazizala usibanibani kukhonjwa ikhehla noma isalukazi sakudalo ngoba kuzanywa ukugqiba ihlazo likamalokazana.
Baningi namhlanje abantu besifazane abagcina bengazi ngempela ukuthi ngubani uyise wengane. Abanye kugcine kuthiwa akuhanjwe kuyokwenziwa ulibofuzo. Kulapho ingane enjengaleyo ingasayophinde ibe nekusasa elihle ngoba isilekwe izinkulumo zokuphikeka nomsindo phezu kwayo.
Noma selingenziwa lolo libofuzo sekufanele ingane leyo igezwe amazwi omsindo agijime phezu kwayo.
Ukweqa isilili kwakuyinto eyejwayelekile, emandulo kodwa kwakwaziwa ukuthi kulungiswa kanjani. Namhlanje osekulahlekile ngenxa yokulahleka kwaso isintu.
Kungakho-ke namhlanje usuthola izingane eziningi zinezinkinga zokungaphili kahle nasempilweni zihlukumezeka, zihlupheka ngakho ukuthi kwenzekani kunina wengane, ubani ngempela uyise wengane.
Ngokulalwa ngomunye umuntu wesilisa ukhulelwe leyo ngane yelekwa isithunzi sakho wena olala nonina, amacala akho nokungcola konke kwakho kugubezele ingane ngoba isuke isentekenteke esiswini sikanina.
Kungakho umuntu wesifazane okwakuthi uma ezithwele edla isihlambezo kuthiwe akungabi khona omunye umuntu wesilisa ongeyena uyise wale ngane ozokulunguza okhambeni lwesihlambezo ngoba uzoleka ngesithunzi sakhe isihlambezo bese ingane ithikazamezeka njengalokhu unina elokhu esiphuza elungiselela ukubeletha kalula.
Kufana ncamashi-ke lokhu nokuthi uthi ukhulelwe uzithwele ungumuntu wesifazane bese ulokhu uphinga eceleni ingane ilekwa kalula imimoya emibi. Isiyophuma lapho isiba nezinkinga isikhula.
Kwakuqikelelwa lokhu emandulo izalukazi izona ezazigada omalokazane uma sebezithwele ngoba izona ezazazi kuqala ukuthi usezithwele ukuze zimeluleke ngezinto okufanele azidle nemisebenzi okufanele angabe esayenza uma esezithwele.
Kwakugwenywa imisebenzi efana nokuya eduze komfula okukhona iziziba kuwona, ukuyotheza ehlathini elikude. Lokhu kwakugadwa ngoba kwakungenzeka umakoti eqe noma ajombe isilwane esithize esinjengenhlwathi, nakuba kwakusuke kuzinkomba lokho ezithize, kanjalo nokusondelana namanzi nesiziba ngoba kulapho kuhlala khona abakhulu nemimoya yabo.
Ukukhulelwa komuntu wesifazane namhlanje akusanakwa , naye angazinaki, nontanga abangameluleka abasekho ngoba sekukhulelwa noma ngubani. Okubuhlungu sekukhulelwa izingane ezincane ezingazi lutho ngokuziphatha nesintu njengalokhu usubona izingane esezizalwa namhlanje sezinezinkinga ezingaka.
Kuningi-ke okungeke kugwemeke ngenxa yakho konke lokhu: akuselula ukugwemeka kwengane ekhubazekile noma ingasiphi isimo, akuselula ukugwema ingane engase ibe nenkinga ekukhuleni kwayo nasesikoleni nasempilweni yonke yayo.
Namhlanje sikhala ngobudlwembe, ukubulalana okukhulu notshwala obudlangile ezinganeni ezikhulayo.
Namhlanje zihamba zizeneka zilala, hhayi ngoba kungukuthi zizenza zona kodwa indlela ezizaleke ngayo, nokwenzeke ngesikhathi onina bezikhulelwe.
Ingane eke yalekwa isithunzi senye indoda, unina ekhulelwe noma ingane eyelama noma eyelanywa izingane ezakhishwa noma ezaphuphuma, noma ingane okwajiyiswa ihlule kuyona, lezi zingane ziyohlala ziyinkinga emphakathini.
Bhdedlindaba “VVO” Ka Lu Phuzi Mkhize (PhD)
Isigodlo saseMlambomunye: School of Umsamo Wisdom